


On the Edge of Hope

by Araine



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (sort of), Canon-Typical Violence, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 21:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6924898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Araine/pseuds/Araine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a phantom with a lightsaber attacking the First Order. Kylo Ren looks for redemption. Poe looks for something to hold on to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Edge of Hope

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ilovethisfeeling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovethisfeeling/gifts).



> I loved your prompt for a Kylo Ren who broke away from the First Order, but didn't quite come back home. It was a treat to write for!

Smoke billows, oily and black on the horizon, as Poe makes his descent. Something tight clamps down in his stomach. This is exactly where the First Order outpost  _ should  _ be, according to latest intel. Poe eases the nose of his X-Wing down. 

“Black Squadron stand by,” he orders, unable to shake that unease. He gets as close as he dares to the source of the smoke, near skims the ground with the belly of his X-Wing. The First Order base is in shambles, blackened and blown apart, pieces of the base still burning sullenly. 

From the air there’s no sign of life. 

“Black Squadron, land and keep your eyes open.”

Poe skims away from the desiccated shell of a First Order base, finding a suitable landing site by sight alone. He lets down the landing gear, opens the hatch, hops out. BB-8 isn’t far behind. The droid chirps a question. 

“I’ve got no idea,” Poe said. “We need to go check it out.”

BB-8 registers disapproval. Poe pats the droid on the head. “Yeah, I don’t like it either buddy.” 

The rest of the X-Wings land, get their craft undercover as is protocol in hostile territory, and meet Poe at the rendezvous point. 

“It looks like whatever happened here is already over,” Poe says. “But keep your eyes open just in case. We don’t want any surprises.” 

He looks over his group of pilots. They all have extensive mission training and experience, and he isn’t worried about any of their safety. Not with the First Order outpost still smoldering just a short walk away. (Something inside him twisted with guilt, for being glad of such destruction. Glad he didn’t have to do it with his own bombs, glad somebody else had taken the job, glad none of his pilots were in danger.) 

“What do you think happened?” Jessika Pava asks, looking over her shoulder at the black smoke. 

“Somebody did our job for us?” Temmin Wexley jokes. Poe winces, even if he knows where the joke came from. Jessika elbows Wexley. 

“It looks like the reactor failed,” Oddy Muva says. The Abednedo pilot has background as a technician as well as in combat. “I’d have to get a look at the reactor core to tell, of course, but--from afar? Reactor failure.” 

An accident then. A very  _ lucky  _ accident. 

“Let’s go take a look,” Poe says. “And then we can tell General Organa the good news.” 

If anyone survived the accident at the First Order base, they are long gone. It doesn’t make military sense for the First Order to stay here, exposed and without a base to fall back on, on a hostile and predator-filled planet. Poe finds himself wishing that people escaped the reactor core explosion, wishing that they didn’t. It will mean fewer people to fight down the line. 

There are plenty of bodies around, and the smell of charred and rotting meat that’s got bile rising in his stomach. Most died in the fire, or were caught by falling rubble, but there’s evidence of blaster bolts being fired. One dead stormtrooper’s armor is scored by a long straight burn. The plastoid is melted on the edges of the burn. 

He hasn’t seen that kind of damage in a long time.

He's only ever seen that kind of damage from the blade of a lightsaber.

Poe lays the dead stormtrooper up against the wall. His head is reeling, stomach churning. When they find the reactor core the results are clear: deliberate sabotage, no accident. 

Poe directs his pilots to gather whatever they can - there's not much that isn't destroyed or taken by the First Order, but there's a few abandoned holo disks that might be worth a look - and then abandons the burned out base.

He takes one look back at the black smoke dissipating in the slow wind, and takes off into upper atmosphere.

\--

General Organa is tight lipped as Poe makes his report.

“An unknown Force user attacking the First Order?” she shakes her head. “That presents problems. We don't know who this rogue agent is or what he wants.”

Poe nods, his unease mirrored by General Organa’s. There's only a very few Force users who carry lightsabers in the Galaxy anymore. He can see the possibility weighing as heavily on her as it does on him.

“I'll reach out to Luke, see if he knows anything,” General Organa says. She sighs, smiles. “It's good to have him close enough to contact for once. And I'll put our spies on the lookout.”

Poe finishes his mission report, feeling much lighter for it, though he knows he has only added to General Organa’s pile of concerns. It's an unburdening of the soul, to confess to his General and know she shares his troubles.

For the new week he dreams fitfully of stars caught in dark eyes. Though he knows better, he waits and waits for news, caught on the edge of hope.

\--

News comes slow, if at all, and there is still a war to be fought. Rey returns from her sojourn with Luke Skywalker, a Jedi in truth with a lightsaber hanging at her belt. Finn finishes the bacta regimen and physical therapy, and passes the Resistance’s combat readiness exam with flying colors. 

Leia assigns their command to Poe. 

“They know you, they listen to you,” she tells him wryly. “Do what you can to keep them from getting killed.” 

They’ve both got some of the reckless energy of youth, and an almost suicidal devotion to one another. It makes Poe feel both young and old at once, remembering the urgency of being nineteen and full of passion. He keeps his word to the General, and does his best to keep them alive. 

An assignment to evacuate key Resistance members and their families turns into a bloody skirmish on the city streets of an Outer Rim planet. They have to carve out a path through the First Order soldiers, ducking through winding streets with blasters at the ready. 

They’re about to dash across an open area when Rey holds out her hand. “Wait,” she says, her gaze far away from the narrow street. 

Finn puts a hand gently on her shoulder. Leans down to look in her eyes. “Rey?” he asks. 

“There’s something up ahead,” Rey says, still vague and quiet. She blinks, frowns, her brow creasing. “I’m not sure-- it was dark and familiar.” She pauses again, fidgets at her lip. “I think it’s him-- Kylo Ren.” 

Poe goes cold all over. The same cold of the First Order starship, that climate controlled sterile air tinged with the dark cold of space. He fights it down, controls it. He’s a soldier, and he’s responsible for Finn and Rey, and he got off the  _ Finalizer _ alive and relatively whole. 

He looks both his companions in the eye. “Should we abort mission?” Poe asks, careful to detach any personal feeling from the question. “Fall back and try again?” They probably won’t get another chance to make contact, and Finn and Rey know that, but there’s no point in pressing on if the mission is hopeless. 

Rey bites her lip, brows creased. Finn juts out his jaw, squares his shoulders. 

“Let’s keep going,” Finn says. Rey nods, backing him up, something dangerous in her eyes.

Poe grins, a half twist of his mouth, and claps them both on the shoulder. “Then let’s keep moving.” 

They make it to the Resistance spy, the constant threat of the First Order’s dark Jedi hanging over them. He’s there alone, his family already sent off to a rendezvous point. He hands Poe a data chip with important First Order secrets, then picks up a blaster. 

The bomb goes off one house over, collapsing the shared wall in a shower of rubble and dust. Poe topples over, his ears ringing. If he turns his head to his right he can see the Resistance spy speared through the chest by a piece of reinforcement steel. He can’t see Finn or Rey. 

First Order soldiers pour into the house and Poe realizes that this is where he dies. 

He’s not sure of what he’s seeing at first. A blaze of red light slashing at white armor, a shadow in the shadows cutting down Stormtroopers with powerful, furious blows. Poe blinks, vision still hazy and clouded by dust. 

He must be dreaming, because Kylo Ren has turned on his own. He’s had this dream before. 

“Ben,” he calls. Half delirious and he’s sixteen again, calling out to the darkness for his best friend. He reaches out for the hand to help him up, and meets only air. “Ben,” he calls again, choked by smoke and his own fear of being left alone. “Why are you here?” 

“You need to get out of here,” Kylo Ren says, distorted by his mask. The voice sharpens Poe’s mind, brings him back to the present moment where he is lying in the rubble from a bombing staring at the remnants of his best friend, who just saved his life. 

“How did you get away from the First Order?” Poe asks. He needs to know, needs to understand how Kylo Ren came to save his life, needs to know if he can even trust this. 

“General Hux was ordered to return me to my master,” Kylo Ren says. “He failed.” 

Poe isn’t even sure why he asks, “Come back with us?” 

Kylo Ren freezes, coiled and tense, and Poe can feel his gaze intense behind that black mask. Poe’s heart pounds loud in his ears, seized with hope and also fear of what Kylo Ren will say. 

“There’s going to be an explosion in the city center,” Kylo Ren says. “Use that to cover your escape.” 

Poe tries to get up, but by the time he makes his feet Kylo Ren is gone out the door and down the street. Poe winces as the pain of his injuries catches up with him, shakes his head against the heat of disappointed tears, and plunges back into the house to go find Finn and Rey. 

Finn is as shellshocked as Poe was, but comes to with a bit of prodding. Rey has a nasty head wound, and her eyes won’t focus. Poe fishes out a bacta bandage, spreads it over her wound, and Finn scoops her up by her shoulders and her knees while Poe readies his blaster. 

True to Kylo Ren’s word, there’s a loud whumph of air in the distance and a spurt of flame. From down the street, Poe sees two Stormtroopers running towards the explosion, abandoning their posts. They race back to their ship, get Rey settled in the medbay. Poe talks Finn through copiloting, and they stop off to pick up the dead Resistance spy’s family before breaking atmosphere and taking off into hyperspace. 

\--

General Organa knows something is up the moment they land, in that keen way she has. While Finn and Rey are busy unloading the ship and getting their passengers settled on base, she pulls Poe into command to make his report. He does so, not sure how the words pass his lips, not meeting the General’s eyes. 

When he has finished, she sinks against the console she’s been leaning against. Smooths her hands over her face. Lets out a long drawn breath of air. There’s a horrible bit of hope in her eyes, covered over by loss and cynicism. 

“So he didn’t come back with you,” she says at long last. 

Poe shakes his head. “He didn’t.” 

Slowly, General Organa draws herself up, gathering her posture like a queen might gather her robes. “No, I expect he wouldn’t,” she says. “Who knows what kind of welcome we would give him?” The edge of her mouth twitches wryly, as if to say even she doesn’t know how she might greet her own son. 

“Even if he’s abandoned Snoke, it doesn’t seem like he’s abandoned the dark side,” she continues, holding Poe’s gaze so magnetically he can’t look away. “He’s still dangerous. Do you understand?” 

Poe nods, unease pooling in his stomach. “Yes general,” he says. 

\--

They get sporadic reports of the masked knight striking at the First Order, appearing out of nowhere to rain down destruction and chaos on their enemies, before disappearing. General Organa issues a standing order that the Resistance should try to capture him if they can, but by the time the Resistance gets wind of any sightings he is usually gone. 

The war continues, the First Order and the Resistance playing chase across the galaxy. Poe’s world narrows to one mission after the next, as they gain and lose advantage and Black Squadron becomes more and more busy every time they are deployed. There’s no time to think about Kylo Ren, loose cannon apparently hell bent on destroying the First Order, or what it means that he’s left his former allegiance. 

It’s during battle that they next meet. Poe is grounded, courtesy of an inopportune cannon shot to his rear thruster. He’s using his craft as cover, picking out shots across the swampy battlefield. Overhead Karé Kun has taken over commanding Black Squadron. They’ve swung back around, so they can make another pass at a bombing run. 

Again, he’s not even sure what he sees. Just a shadow through the swamp mists, a faint twirling red glow. 

Poe is moving even before he knows what he is doing, breaking cover to follow after. He knows it’s Kylo Ren, knows that the darksider is also here to go after the First Order base, knows that he should probably call for help if he wants to obey General Organa’s order and take Kylo Ren alive. 

Poe is in command of no soldiers and under command of none, and there’s nobody he could pull away from the battlefield without critically weakening the Resistance for a non-critical goal. That’s what he tells himself at least, following along behind the dark figure. 

They’re in sight of the First Order base - close enough that Poe could pick out shots on the guarding stormtroopers - when Kylo Ren stops moving. 

“Are you here to take me in Poe?” he asks, not turning around. His voice crackles through the distortion of the mask.

Poe comes out of hiding, not sure what he expected from trying to follow a Jedi around. He doesn’t point his gun at Kylo Ren, but he doesn’t lower it either. 

“I’m just wondering what you think you’re doing here,” he says. “You’re not First Order anymore, and you sure as hell aren’t part of the Resistance.” 

Kylo Ren turns his head, a half a quarter. Enough for Poe to see the silver-lined visor of his mask, the scarred faceplate. 

“I’m seeking redemption,” he says. 

Poe’s not sure what he expected to hear. Not that. Not after everything that’s happened, all the killing and fighting and terror. 

“By blowing up First Order bases?” Poe asks, scrutinizing that blank face for some bit of the boy he once knew. “By-- killing as many of their stormtroopers as you can get your lightsaber on?” 

“Isn’t that what you do?” Kylo Ren asks. 

They’re on a battlefield. Poe can’t deny that he’s killed, many times over, probably more times than he knows. Fury wells up in him, hot in his chest, that Kylo Ren thinks that they are comparable. He takes a step forward, until he’s looking up into that blank faceplate. 

“I fight for a cause,” he says, wishing that he could open up that mask and make Kylo Ren understand. “I fight for the Resistance, for the New Republic. You-- when your family hurt you, you hurt them back, and when your new family did the same thing, you turned on them too!” 

Kylo Ren throws out his hand, quick and violent. Poe feels invisible bands as strong as steel strap around all of his muscles, locking him in place. The tips of his toes drag through the mud, as he skids forward towards Kylo Ren. He clenches his muscles, fighting the invisible bonds. 

“What do you know,” Kylo Ren demands, his fury a hot and present thing in the air, “about me, or why I’m doing this?” 

“I know you,” Poe clenches out, against jaw muscles that won’t move, lungs that won’t draw breath. “Or I did once.” 

Kylo Ren drops Poe to the ground, turns away. Poe sits there in the mud on his knees, gasping for breath, remembering the last time they met like this. On a battlefield, Poe on his knees, Kylo Ren demonstrating his power in the Force. It’s a million years ago and all happening right now, and he’s got another chance.

He wants to ask Kylo to take off the mask again.

“If you’re really seeking redemption,” Poe says, sure this is a bad idea and barrelling forward anyways, “then prove it. Come back with me.” 

Kylo Ren moves slowly at first, gloved fingers catching at the edge of his helmet, pulling it full off his head. Black curls tumble free, long and loose and touching the edge of his collar. He doesn’t move, doesn’t turn towards Poe, just stands there on the battlefield holding his helmet loosely in one hand. 

“I can’t,” he says, torn and choked. “I want to, but I-- I can’t. It’s like I’m being torn apart Poe.” 

It’s the first time Poe has heard Ben Solo’s voice in ten years. Unmasked and unfiltered. It strikes him as powerful as a hit to the chest. 

Poe gets to his feet, stumbles towards Kylo-- no, towards Ben. Close enough to see his face, the curve of his nose and his cheekbones, his dark lashes dipping over sensitive eyes, his mouth just barely quivering at the edge. Ben Solo looks up at Poe, black eyes longing, before his gaze sweeps down and away. 

There’s a knot of heat in Poe’s throat, strangling his tongue and stinging his eyes. He reaches up, touches Ben’s cheek. It’s wet with more than mist. Ben blinks, slowly, gaze slanting towards Poe’s hand, brown on white skin. Under Poe’s fingers, Ben’s jaw tightens and releases. 

“Thank you,” Ben says, over the battlefield quiet. He meets Poe’s eyes for a suspended second, and hope hovers on Poe’s tongue as he searches for words to say, but before he can find them Ben turns away and fits the helmet back into place. 

Poe stares back into that expressionless visor.

“If this base is gone,” Kylo Ren says, looking towards the squat duracrete structure just beyond the line of trees, “it will mean victory for the Resistance. I suggest you don’t try to stop me for the sake of your own side.” 

Poe knows his smile doesn’t come out right, but he doesn’t care. 

“Good luck,” he says. 

He waits and watches, as Kylo Ren approaches the base and moments later disappears into the misty swamp. There’s no movement for a few long breaths. From inside, klaxons start sounding. Poe retreats, as quickly as he can, blaster at the ready, before the stormtroopers get suspicious and start searching the surrounding area.

The blast is concussive behind him, rattling the trees and the swampy water. Poe returns to the battlefield, but it’s already over - without their base, the stormtroopers are all falling back towards their ships, and overhead Black Squadron is swooping in like a hungry pack of carnivores. 

Poe helps with the mop up, catching and imprisoning stragglers and gathering what they can find from the First Order base. Afterwards, there is no word or sign of Kylo Ren, except from a few stormtroopers who saw him during the battle. 

Poe keeps quiet. He’ll give his report to General Organa and no one else.

Ben Solo is alive and out there somewhere, and not all of the light has left him yet. 


End file.
